dunkeld
Active Member
Tay Springer April 2010
Posts: 2,946
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Post by dunkeld on Oct 31, 2012 7:28:49 GMT
A six year old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa's room ...... "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as mum comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!" "What?" said her Grandpa. "Make a noise like a frog - because mum said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to DisneyLand!
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dunkeld
Active Member
Tay Springer April 2010
Posts: 2,946
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Post by dunkeld on Oct 31, 2012 7:37:08 GMT
Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years. After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead!
Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate, but since there weren't any lady eagles available he'd have to cross the feather barrier. So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest. the sex was good but all the dove would say is .......... 'I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!' Well this so got on Harry's nerves so he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate.. He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest. Again the sex was good but all the loon would say is........
I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!' So out with the loon. Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest. This time the sex was great, but all the duck would say was.....................
- - - - - - -
NO, The duck didn't say THAT ! ... Don't be SO disgusting! The duck said.... - - - -
I am a DRAKE, You made a MISTAKE!!
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dunkeld
Active Member
Tay Springer April 2010
Posts: 2,946
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Post by dunkeld on Oct 31, 2012 7:40:27 GMT
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a great huge, trouble-making
biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life." I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."
"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then, you show up and drink the whole thing!
But, enough about me, how's your day going?"
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